8 Simple Steps to Improve your Personal Effectiveness............!

Success at both the personal as well as the professional fronts demand that we understand and master the 'art' of personal effectiveness. The following eight points illustrates this vital area. These are simple, easy to follow and implement steps, which can be adopted by anybody for building and strengthening relationships for greater personal effectiveness!

Lets understand them better:

1. People are interested in themselves: This is human nature. In fact, this trait is so strong in all of us that all our actions and thoughts are directed towards meeting this end! Understanding this selfish trait is the beginning to personal effectiveness. It is the stepping stone which will enable you to deal with and improve your personal effectiveness, no matter what the circumstances. 
2. Talk to people about themselves: The importance here is the person you are talking to and not yourself. By focusing on the other person, you are letting the person know that you are interested in him which in turn will make him appreciate your efforts. This is in tune with our inherent nature. You need to move away from " I " centric conversation to " YOU " centric conversation. This is by no means easy, it will require a lot practise, but the rewards are worth it all.   
3. The importance of making people feel important: The other person is as much important to himself as you are to yourself, so keep an open mind with other people. Remember, we all like to be recognised and made to feel important! So keep the following in mind: 
1. Listen to people: This will make them feel important and give an impression that you care about them.
2. Always compliment: Acknowledging people for what they have achieved is a great way of making them feel important.
3. Names: The name of a person matters. It is important to him and makes conversation more personal. Use the person's name during the conversation.
4. Never hurry your answers: A simple pause before answering gives the impression that you have given enough thought to what has been said. It signifies that the topic is worthy of thinking over.
5. Be " YOU " centric: Talk the other person's language. Your focus should be the other person, not you.
6. Treat everyone equal in a group: The effort here is not to leave out any person in a group. Give equal importance to all present in the group, not only to the more vocal or the leader.
4. Be Agreeable: Any Tom, Dick and Harry can disagree, but it is the more wise and shrewd among us that have mastered the art of agreeing - especially when the other person is wrong! So, to achieve this, try out the following tips: 
1. Change your attitude: This is more of a mindset change! Tell yourself that you will start to agree with people, no matter what. Try and develop an agreeable nature.
2. Let people know that you agree with them: Once you have made up your mind to agree with people, don't stop there. Let people know that you agree with them. Nod your head when you say so.
3. Tell people you don't agree unless absolutely necessary: Hold your response to your disagreement with another. You will be surprised how seldom you have to actually have to tell a person that you disagree!
4. Admit your mistake: Make it a point to admit your mistakes whenever you make one. You will be appreciated for doing so. It will reflect your inner strength and character. Traits which are admired!
5. Don't argue: Won't get you anywhere. In fact whatever progress you make can easily be lost by arguing. So, even if you are right, don't argue. Eventually, the other person will see your point of view.
6. Be wary of fighters: They are every where, and their sole purpose is to fight for the least of all reasons! Be diplomatic in such situations. Remain calm and refuse to be drawn in to the fight. They will usually rave and rant and then fizzle out!  
5. Listen actively to people: This will help you to become smarter and more appreciated by people. You will be considered a better conversationalist than those talkers! This is so because people like to hear their favourite speakers, which is  - themselves. This is an art which can be developed and the following five steps should help you do just that:
1. Maintain eye contact: Perhaps one of the most important aspects of body language is the ability to keep eye contact while talking to a person. Remember, anybody worth listening to is also worth looking at!
2. Lean slightly towards the speaker: This positive body language posture signifies that you are genuinely interested. It also lets the speaker know that you don't want to miss a single word that is being said.
3. Develop a dialogue: This can be done by asking relevant questions. By asking questions or paraphrasing what the speaker is saying, you are letting the person know that you are actually listening to what he has to say. Your questions will add that much more importance and spice to the conversation!
4. Don't interrupt: Would you like it if a person butts in while you are still trying to make your point? You certainly won't! So, when another person is speaking let him finish before you say anything. 
5. Be " YOU " centric: Your effort should be to listen to a person from that person's perspective. Your answers should reflect that and not the contrary. 
6. Praise people, it is never out of place: Praising or complimenting people is food for the soul! We all yearn for it and when it comes our way, it sure brightens up the whole day. So is the case with other people. Saying something kind to another person will not only make that person feel good but also make him appreciate you for the kind words. Its a win win situation, so find out something or somebody to praise. A word of caution here:
1. The praise must be genuine: You must mean what you say. Your words should not sound like hollow syllables! You must attach feelings and emotions to what you say. If you don't mean it then it is better you don't say it! People can see through a guise.
2. The act needs to be praised: Praising the act lets the person know that whatever has been done by him is well appreciated. It also ensures that future efforts by the person has the same level of commitment and quality. 
7. Criticise but in the right spirit: You must understand that criticism is a means to improve a person's out put in whatever sphere and not a means to belittle or put him down. Hence you must use it in the right spirit and manner. The seven points to successful criticism should help you along:
1. Criticise in absolute privacy: This is a closed door, one to one affair. No disturbances, no intrusions. Just you and the person.
2. Create a friendly atmosphere: This will help to 'lessen the blow'. In any case a cordial, friendly environment always yields better results.
3. The act needs to be criticised: This way allows the criticism to be impersonal and ensures that the person is not hurt personally.
4. Provide the answer: If you are criticising a person for doing something wrong, then you better have the right way of doing it, ready with you!
5. Seek co-operation: You need to ask the person to co-operate with what is going on instead of demanding it. It will give you better results.
6. Keep it a one-time affair: Don't continue to criticise for the same mistake over and over again. Criticise once for a particular mistake and then let it rest.
7. End it with a friendly note: After all is said and done, you need to make sure that there is no hard feelings between the two of you! 
8. Thank people: It is our inborn human nature to appreciate and respond to gratitude and by thanking people, you are strengthening that bond. So you need to develop this art of 'thanking' people. Keep the following in mind the next time you want to 'thank' somebody:
1. Mean it: You need to be sincere when you thank people. An insincere word of gratitude will easily be found out!
2. Be clear: Don't mumble your thanks! Say it in a way that shows you are glad saying it.
3. Maintain eye contact: Looking at the person you are thanking, lets him know that you are sincere about it all!
4. Use the person's name: This allows you the personal touch when thanking the person. It makes a huge difference to that person.
5. Look for opportunities to thank people: Be on the look out for a chance to thank somebody! Remember, to thank for the obvious is done by the average person, but if you need to rise above the average, thank for the not so obvious!

So that's the long and short of it! You now have the tools with which you can dramatically improve your personal effectiveness and reach new heights in your personal as well as professional fields. 

I hope you find them useful. Do share them with your friends, colleagues and who ever you think would benefit from them.

Thanks a lot! 

5 Simple Steps to Make a Good Impression!

This is a follow-up of my last post (Is YOUR image holding YOU back..........?)!

You know, to a great extent, how others see us or their opinions about us are within our own grasp or control but we fail to realize this important reality!

We all want to be admired, we want people to respect us and look up to us, but do we act or behave in such ways that warrants this? More often than not this is not the case and in the bargain we end up blaming any and everything under the sun for our present predicament.

So, what do you do next to change the situation? Simple, follow the 5 simple steps enumerated below, to change people’s opinion of you!

·  Take PRIDE in YOURSELF: You are unique and the skill sets that you possess are second to none. Hold on to this thought. It doesn't matter where you are at the present moment; you need to take pride in who you are and what you do. Your belief in yourself must be unwavering so that you are able to carry yourself with respect and pride!

·  SINCERITY Counts: Artificiality is a mask that can be peeled off anytime, leaving your real self exposed! Keep away from this temporary means of escape. Things like flattery, hollow promises and unnecessary words which we sometimes use just to make an impression can actually be counter-productive. People are smart enough to see through a guise, so be sincere.

·  Be ENTHUSIASTIC: This trait is magnetic. It attracts people towards you and is contagious. People gravitate towards an enthusiastic person, so make it a point to develop this trait in whatever you do.

·  Don't be OVERZEALOUS: In your effort to make a good impression on others, please don't go overboard with the effort! Besides being smart, people are also great skeptics. Your well meaning effort could be construed as something quite the contrary which could land you in quite a spot! Be your own judge and gauge situations.

·  GROW on your OWN merits: Your progress in life is directly proportional to your own efforts! It is of little or no consequence projecting yourself on other peoples’ efforts. Sooner or later the truth is bound to surface and if you have tried to concoct someone else’s efforts as your own, then the resulting beating your image takes will be beyond repair! You don't need to do this. Instead, bring your own skills to the table and learn in the process!

So there you have it. The 5 simple steps that can help you make a good impression! These steps are extremely easy to follow simply because they are ‘simple’. There is no ‘rocket-science’ involved, no seminars/conferences to attend, all you need to do is, make a concerted effort and put the above into practice. It’s all in your hands!

I hope you have enjoyed reading the above as much as I have enjoyed writing it for you. And it is my sincere wish that it may bring positive changes in your life as you put them into practice! Please share with your friends, colleagues and whoever you think can benefit from it.

Till next time, all the very best!

Is YOUR image holding YOU back.............?

You know, our lives have become so mechanised that we tend to take a lot things for granted. Like for instance, every morning we literally stumble out of bed, rush through our morning routines, grab a cup of tea or coffee and off we go to whatever it is we do. 

We are so caught up in the present that we neglect to pay attention to ourselves. This leads to a lot of frustration in our professional lives, especially when it comes to moving up in our chosen fields of engagement. Being frustrated further triggers even more negative thoughts about ourselves and we continue to slip deeper into the maze of self-pity and degradation. Result? The quality of our work suffers, while the vicious circle continues, till the inevitable happens.

So, how do you stem this rot? Simple. Take a long, hard look at your mirror ( preferably full length!). What do you see? Do you like the image that is staring back at you? Come on, I know it is the reflection of your physical self, but tell me, do you really like what you see, especially at this present juncture? Being stuck at a dead-end job with no scope of any career advancement, certainly doesn't warrant any 'likes', even if it is for yourself! 

You need to treat the 'mirror' as your confidante, your true friend. It is inanimate, so what you portray to the world, is being reflected in toto by it. There are no frills attached, no buttering or tweaks to your reflected image in the mirror. It just gives you back what you put in! As simple as that. In fact, it has been trying to communicate with you all the time, but did you pay attention? No, I bet not, else you would not have been in this situation in the first place!

Take some time out, stand in front of your mirror and give yourself a microscopic, physical image scrutiny. Start from your hair and work down to your feet. Ask yourself - "what do I need to change in my physical appearance so that I present myself better?" It will surprise you at the things you ought to change when you do an unbiased self-appraisal! 

How about trying the following:

• Your hairstyle: Maybe its time you wore your hair in a different style. Let people take a second look at you and figure out.
• Dress Code: Have you been too casual with your wardrobe? Why not try out something that is more formal and goes with the job?
• Footwear: If till now you were comfortable with sneakers and loafers, think again. A pair of comfortable black shoes should do the trick!
• Personal Hygiene: People accept and respond to persons who take care of their personal hygiene. If you are a man, make sure there is no stubble and if you sport a moustache or a 'goatee', take care to trim regularly. Clip your fingernails and take care of your breath. Nothing is more of a 'turn-off' than having grime stacked under your fingernails and breath stinking of rotten eggs! If you have a problem of body odour, splash on some deodorant, not too much, but just enough to get you through the day.

Success and self-development are intertwined with the image you portray to all you come in contact with. The "Physical You" is the first thing that hits any person whom you meet. All else comes later. So, it is only logical that you take care of how you portray yourself to the world. And if this image of yours is really getting in the way of your career advancement, then I suggest, follow the above steps I have outlined to make a fresh start.

Just remember, 'change is the only constant!' So whether you are already employed, or just starting out, the basics remain the same.

Till next time!